My life on earth seemed like a big fat error. When the final fuse blew, I decided death was far better than this life. I went to the Pacific Ocean at sundown. I looked to the left and the right to make sure I would not be rescued. I couldn’t bear the thought of someone saving me from the water, forcing me to go on living in the gloom of it all. My mind was made up, so out I drifted. Though the tide was not high, I could still go far enough to give in to death. Yes, that’s the answer, the solution to my misery. All I can find in death is peace anyway. Right? Here I go. Just relax. It won’t take long if I just relax. So I inhaled as much water as I could until I began to fill up like a balloon. My head felt full of water and slowly I could feel the peace of death coming upon me.
Oh, no! What’s going on? Before I knew it, someone grabbed me by my hair and yanked me back to shore. But no one, absolutely no one, saw me go into that water. I made sure of that. But a rescue squad came and took me to the hospital. All I can tell you is that the One who created me set up this whole rescue mission for me. He had hope for me. He saw desperation deep within my heart that I couldn’t even see myself; in fact, I thought I would be doing Him a favor by ending it all. I didn’t even know Him. I had Him pegged all wrong. I really thought that I had blown it so badly that He would rejoice in my suicide. How gravely perverted my thinking and reasoning had been!
Since that horrible time, many wonderful things have happened in my life. I’ve been ransomed by a great and wonderful God. He has changed me and is making me completely whole. Because of Yahshua’s death on the cross, He ransomed me from death itself. With His blood He paid the price of all my sins. No longer am I hopeless, but my life is full of purpose and joy. It is truly a miracle. I have been released from my slavery to worthlessness. No longer do I listen to the voice that calls me a failure. I have come into an abundant life in Yahshua’s kingdom.
I belonged to Him all along, but I never knew it. He longed to communicate this to me, but whenever He tried, I would block my ears. But at just the right time He tried again. I put my stubbornness aside and listened to His gentle voice through one of His disciples. He told me that the Messiah Yahshua wanted to help me and love me forever. The wonderful thing is, I believed him and here I sit today, a sane woman with peace of mind.
Please don't give in like I tried to do. His arms are outstretched, just longing to give you what He has given me — a brand new start. He is totally aware of you, so much so that His death was the payment for your ransom, too. Just come and believe. By giving up your life, you can receive the eternal life that is found now among His people.