Even as a young child I saw hypocrisy and compromise everywhere I looked: the Roman Catholic church, the public school system, the US government. At an early age I began to reject the society in which I lived. I began to search for a way “back to the garden.” I investigated many different communities, either first hand or through reading, and considered many alternative lifestyles in my search for utopia.
This search led to involvement with many New Age philosophies: holistic healing, the network of light, meditation, planetary citizens, the great invocation, visualization, the new physics, interdimensional music, multidimensional reality, vegetarianism, tarot, Christianity, yoga, astrology, and native American spirituality. These were all ways for me to be in tune with my higher or inner self and to be connected through that higher self to the greater oneness of all that is. I began to believe, through a number of different teachings, that I could ultimately become a “co-creator” with God — that through positive thought and proper visualization I could create my own reality, my utopia.
I had much hope in my thoughts about the coming New Age when love and peace would rule the planet. I imagined myself connected to thousands of other believers all over the world in a “network of light.” Each one of us were “light-workers” on this planet, and as we each visualized the light within and created loving New Age images in our mind’s eye, we would actually be changing the world around us.
At this point in my life I was longing for some things deep in my soul. One of these things was a people I could identify with — a heritage. I related this to the native American Indians, how they lived together in tribes and all had the same beliefs to interconnect them. Even the different tribes would come together for the Sundance and experience meaning, purpose, and unity in their lives. I also longed for a day when people could travel the earth from one community to another, knowing that they could be at home anywhere they went. Not that you would have to pay for the “experience,” but just be at home with your brothers and sisters.
At the same time, I was struggling with incredible fears that I could barely name. It was obvious that the whole earth was in turmoil. The uncertainty of the future constantly kindled my fears. Restlessness clouded my hopes of finding the ideals I longed for. Nuclear issues were hotly debated everywhere. I went to hear Helen Caldicott speak, and she terrified me with the nearness of the threat of nuclear war. This fear came down to a basic fear of death.
About the same time I read Shikasta, by Doris Lessing. This book plunged me into dark depression for days. Although it was a science fiction story, it spoke of the last days before the emergence of the New Age. Famines, earthquakes, wars, nuclear skirmishes, Nazi-like youth groups, and thousands of orphaned children were all part of this story. It touched me very deeply. Somehow I knew that there was some truth in this, and although for some reason I felt I would survive all that suffering, I wondered, “Where will the strength come from? Where are the people who will hold each other up through the worst of it?”
This caused my husband and I to desire to live in community more than ever before. We wanted to share everything we had. But where were the people to do it with? We searched and searched, but all the people we found who wanted to buy land together wanted the same thing — their own life. They all wanted their own little piece of land and their own little house. I had lots of vision about having a store, teaching holistic childbirth classes, having a house restoration crew, holding healing circles, and more, but I knew that alone it was impossible to do.
It was at about this point that two men with backpacks came walking to our house. They spoke of their community and the life they lived. It sounded like my dream come true — a people, a heritage, communities all over the earth, a people who truly loved one another.
But what about this — they were saying that Yahshua, the Messiah, had saved them; that Satan had control of the world system; that their children are trained and disciplined; and that the women in their community are submissive to their husbands. And they said there is a price to enter the Kingdom of God. It costs you your own personal sovereignty.
I was turned off, scared, but at the same time, convicted. Some of the things I heard sounded to me like a nightmare. Although I liked a lot of what I’d heard about the Community, I didn’t like it enough to go and see.
In late summer the apple pickers from the Community came to our area and began to have a relationship with us. I began to visit them and see the life that had caused them to give up everything they had. At times I was drawn and at times repelled — repelled because the things I saw went against the grain of the rest of the world, but attracted because I truly desired to know the truth. I was shown an actual living demonstration of the New Age. I was shown a people who lived together, truly loving each other and sharing everything they had. They weren’t working for a system they didn’t believe in. They had left that society completely behind to live in a new one. These people had something I had never seen before, a oneness I had never experienced and could not explain.
Finally all the grey turned to black and white. There are only two choices, two paths on which to travel. One path is the broad way where everything goes. This is a path of destruction which has caused all the pain and agony that we witness today all over the earth. It is the one most widely traveled. The other path is the path our Master Yahshua established. This path brings you into a people, a nation, the true spiritual tribes of Israel. It is a narrow path that few people find, yet in it lies the hope of all mankind.
It’s impossible to see in the darkness. As much as we strain to see, the fact remains that our spiritual eyes are blinded. Try as hard as we might to pry them open of our own volition, all we can see in the darkness is more darkness. I chose to come out of the kingdom of darkness and into the kingdom of light. The only New Age this world will ever see is when the spiritual ruler of this present evil age is overthrown. Without him being dethroned there is no hope of coming into anything but the same old story, the same old bondage I was desperate to be released from. Yahshua, the Son of God, had the authority and power to rescue me and bring me into His people. To actually take a step from one kingdom into another requires faith.
You can’t just use your mind and imagine your way through to the other side. That is only fantasy. You can’t understand with your mind what is just a simple love affair of the heart. That's only fantasy, too. You have to trust. Our Master Yahshua trusted His Father and died to free us from the evil one’s grasp. And we, too, must die. This means to give up our own selfish lives in every aspect to enter into His kingdom. This is what we were created for — His kingdom. This kingdom is the New Age that we have searched for all these years. Our Father created us for this great purpose. His love for us is unfathomable. His plan for us is infinite and eternal. We can’t even imagine what He has in store for us, yet He desires to reveal it to us if only we will humble ourselves.
There is deep meaning and purpose behind everything we do. How I long with all my heart to express our life to you. Our Messiah is not one of convenience. We haven’t come together to make our life easier. Every day we are in a battle; we are warriors who struggle and overcome. The battle is a spiritual one and our enemies are spirits (like intimidation, jealousy, and frustration). Yet Messiah’s Spirit gives us help to overcome them.
I know it is very difficult to understand how we can accept the authority of Messiah in our lives. All we have ever known in the world is bad authority. Many have rejected authority altogether. But in Messiah’s Community we are coming to know higher authority — higher than any government on the earth. We can see the good fruit that is produced by answering to the good government of our Master Yahshua. We are being made into a new nation. There will come a time when this nation will be recognized and despised by many.
It really grieves my heart that many who are eagerly awaiting the coming New Age are being subtly deceived by the master of this present age, the fallen angel, Satan. They are being led to believe that they can change the world through their imagination and that they have “a god within” which, in reality, is their own Self, with a capital S. This worship of Self and this inward searching will lead them farther and farther from the ultimate reality of Messiah’s kingdom.
Our life in the Community of Messiah is very real, not imaginary. It is only through His Spirit that my husband and I are living with our friends and learning to know what love really is. We are being healed of our wrong ways and strengthened by grace to endure the tumultuous times ahead.
Everyone who has a real desire to know the truth will have an opportunity to see it. It is not hidden or esoteric knowledge. There is a practical demonstration of His kingdom being formed on the earth right now for all to see.
Our Father has a deep and personal love for every person. He desires to know you, too.