Modesty is a word not commonly used these days. Most people hardly know what the word actually means, and for many it brings to mind images of over-dressed women of the 1800s or some such thing. But modesty is actually a very wonderful thing, much deeper than the clothes you wear, which are only the outward expression of it. Modesty is a matter of the heart. The word modesty literally means to have a proper estimation of one’s own self. This means to not think too highly or too lowly of yourself, but to really have peace in knowing who you are. This is why modesty is all but lost in society today, because people are very confused about who they are — especially women.
Women have such a wonderful, special purpose. God created woman to be a friend and a helper for man. She was created to be a wife and a mother, to raise children who would in turn know who they were created to be. In this she would find peace and rest. Sadly enough today though, many women strive to be something “better,”
But the good news that we’ve found is that there is nothing better than becoming who you were truly created to be. In this we are learning to have true modesty, that is, a true estimation of ourselves. We are not pitiful little housewives that are bossed around all day by overbearing men, but we are happy, liberated women who willingly submit ourselves to our loving husbands. We are finding the true joy that comes from being in God’s proper order. This is where true modesty comes from.
Woman was created to be the wife of one man. She was never meant to have any other sexual relationship with a man outside of this context. However, in the confusion of the world today, people have many girlfriends and boyfriends before they finally settle down (if they ever do). Many times women carry themselves in a way so as to draw attention; trying to be attractive or desirable to a man. But if a woman realized that she was meant for only one man, to be his wife and be desirable to him only, then this drive in her to attract the attention of other men would not be there.
Another definition of the word modest is “unpretentious.” This means not trying to make yourself look like something you are not, which is something that many women often do. Woman is not meant to rule over man, however this is hard for many of today’s women to accept. Woman is meant to save her affections for her husband, and to willingly give herself to him and submit to him. In the same way, a man is meant to be the husband of one woman whom he loves and cares for in every way. In this loving relationship they would bring forth happy, respectful and secure children. She is created to be a mother to those children and raise them up according to her husband’s heart. She is meant to brood over these children and wholly devote herself to them and make them her priority until they are fully trained in the way they should go. What a wonderful purpose!
But many women are not content with this. Instead of finding peace in who they are, they strive to be what they are not. They want careers, or money, or whatever they think will give them identity and fulfillment. But a woman who has modesty knows who she is. She is unpretentious. She doesn’t need to try to become “greater” than she was created to be. She is content with the peace that comes from doing what she was created to do.
If a woman is under the bondage of having to dress a certain way, or put on make-up, or modify her behavior to be what the world might consider successful or attractive, she is not really liberated.
When a woman knows her great worth and dignity, she is able to dress and behave with modesty. The reason that many women act and dress in a way that calls attention to themselves is because they lack inner worth. They are attempting to “feel better about themselves.” However, their immodesty only leaves them feeling dirty, low and empty inside.
Immodesty is much more than merely the way you dress. It is also the way you speak, the way you behave, and the way you carry yourself. No matter how hard a woman tries to boost her self-esteem in these various ways, she will always come up short, because something deep inside of her needs to be fulfilled. It will only be fulfilled in finding security in her proper role as a woman.
Modesty is a matter of the heart. It is not usually thought of in this way, but if a woman truly has an inner peace with who she is, then the outward sign will be the discreet way she dresses and her submissive, gentle behavior. It actually says in the Bible in 1 Peter 3:3-5;
Do not let your adornment be outward — arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel; rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands.
This is what God has always intended for woman, and it hasn’t changed, although society has continued to grow in confusion.
Deep down inside, every mother wants to be able to pass on to her daughter the vision to keep herself pure. But in the world today, where immodesty and immorality (which really go hand in hand) are so accepted, how can someone have hope to raise a pure young woman?
In the Twelve Tribes, modesty is being restored, along with a proper understanding of the amazing purpose of woman. We have come out of this fallen society of immodesty, and into a new nation with a brand new culture where modesty and purity are becoming a people’s way of life. This is the wonderful restoration that is taking place in our lives here in the Commonwealth of Israel.